Why?

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Why?  That’s probably one of the most asked questions.  It’s probably one of the first questions we learn to ask as children.  Mom and Dad say no and what do we ask? Why?  The general answer is because Mom and Dad said so! The underlying answer is that Mom and Dad know best.

Just as we ask why of our earthly parents, we ask why of our Heavenly Father too.  I know the question all too well.  I’ve laid on my bed in the worst pain I could imagine and cried out to God asking why.  Why?  Generally I follow that up by, I don’t understand.  Then I remember that there are others out there who are worse off than me.  At the moment, in the midst of the pain, I can’t imagine anyone else being in worse condition, but they are.  Our circumstances tend to blind us to what’s going on around us.  That’s a different blog post all together.  So I’ll get back on track.

 As most of you who read this blog regularly know, I lost my dad back in August.  I truly believed that he would get well.  I never doubted it.  I believed that God was bringing healing.  He didn’t. All I could do was ask, Why God?  Why?  I don’t understand.  Many of you have been in the same boat.  It’s okay to ask why.  Let me kind of give you an idea of what my WHY conversation with God goes like.  This is pretty personal so don’t judge me.

 Why God?  I don’t understand why.  I usually ask that several times.

God please speak to me because I don’t know why?  Did I do something wrong?  Am I being punished?

Then it gets real.

Why don’t you stop the pain, you’re more than able to do it.  You can heal.  Why don’t you heal me?

Then, I’m not talking to Him anymore…I just start wondering…Are you real?  That question is muted quickly because my faith kicks in automatically and says, Jase you KNOW that he is real. There is no way he can’t be real.  You’ve seen him do too much.  You’ve seen him change lives.  You’ve seen him move.  You’ve seen his amazing masterpieces in your life.  You’ve seen the sunset and the sunrise.  You’ve seen the colors of fall.  Then I start singing.

Yes, in the middle of my worst pain I start singing.  Why? Because it lifts me up.  It strengthens my faith.  It settles my restless spirit.

Lately the one song I sing is, “Storyteller” by Morgan Harper Nichols.  There is a part in the second verse that says, “there were some nights that felt like they would last forever, but you kept me breathing. You were with me right then.”  It fits the situation I’m in.  Believe it or not, but when I start singing out to God, the pain eases.  I can rest.  I can even sleep.  So, through my why question, my faith ends up stronger and I find out that God is there.  While I may not get the answer I want.  I know he is there and that he cares.

 I know that some of you are facing situations much worse than what I do. Your whys may be completely different.  Your path through those whys will be different.  However, I truly believe He will give you a rest as well.  Remember his goodness.  Remember his tender mercies.  Remember his unfailing love.  Remember how he saved you.  Remember.

 Trust me, I know it’s hard to remember anything when you are in the moment of your worst nightmare.  I don’t want to tell you what to do to overcome the Whys.  Because it won’t work the same for everyone.  Don’t lose hope though.  The clouds will part and the day will dawn brand new and you’ll see how God has been there all along.  He knows best.

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