Growing up I was never satisfied with this earth and what it had to offer. I can remember thinking often about God and what his world was like. I daydreamed about Heaven, and I still do. I can remember at least three times as a child I was outside and no one else was around. I specifically heard someone call my name, “JASON”. Being a child I was scared. I even ran once! Then a neighbor lady of ours named Goldie told me the story of Samuel and how God called to him. I wondered then if God had been calling to me.
When I was about 15 I had a dream. I dreamed that I was standing on a mountain and Jesus came to me. There were thousands and thousands of people dressed in white robes following behind him. When the procession got to me, it stopped. Jesus looked at me and said follow me. It was about a year later when I really made the decision to follow Jesus with all my heart.
As an adult I’m still not satisfied with what this world has to offer. As I’ve grown I’ve found out a few things. I used to live my life with so much worry. You can ask my family how much of a worrier I was. It was bad. I also suffered from anxiety and panic attacks. I lived in fear. It’s not a fun place to live. I dreaded going to bed and I dreaded getting up and facing another day.
One day, and I can’t remember how long ago it was, I had a revelation hit me. If my Father holds everything in his hands. Why do I need to worry. From that moment on I made a conscious effort to remind myself of this every time I had a worry or fear. It was a battle. Now, most of the time, I live without the worry and fear. It’s still a battle at times, but I’m so much happier.
I choose to live in the Kingdom…
I got the title for this blog post this morning. I was listening to an interview with a christian musician and it really rang true with me. All of my longing and searching for a place that feels like home has been me searching for the Kingdom. Yes, deep down I knew this. Sometimes it takes it being spelled out for you to really get it. The Kingdom of God is inside of us. It’s at hand. Today, I’m making up my mind that I’m going to live like I’m in the Kingdom now. In a small way this is what I’ve been trying to do, but I want to take it to a bigger scale. I think this will help me in the way I interact with people. The way I spend my time. The way I think and act. At least that’s what I’m hoping. I think if I really grasp the truth of the matter it will change me.
Think about it. As a child of God, you have access to the Father at any time. There is nothing that is coming against you right now, that he has not seen. He can bring us through anything and that is why we can have joy in sorrows. This is why we have hope when things are dark. We KNOW that our Father has us in his hand. So, if all these things are true, we can live like we are already in the Kingdom. Oh the joy and peace that will be found in that. I suspect it won’t be easy. The good things never are. But I guarantee it will be worth it. So why don’t you join me? Let’s live in the Kingdom today, and tomorrow we’ll get up and try to do it again.